Three straight days off the trail. What should be done with so much freedom. Sleeping for seventy two hours was my first thought, but my friends Ben, Rob, and Kimmy had other ideas.
1. Run a 5K. At first when Ben suggested this idea I thought he was joking. There was some sort of event afterward which he mentioned might interest me, so in the end I acceded. Once I agreed to race I went all out, believing I could win. By about a mile in, this illusion was shattered as a woman wearing a Tinker Bell outfit and pushing a stroller passed me, shortly followed by a five year old boy. Then the altitude smacked me down further and I spent the next mile and a half doing what I do best - walking. The appearance of beer tents ahead reinvigorated me and I sprinted the last couple of hundred yards. I can say with pride I finished the race - and kicked the ass of a guy in a wheelchair with a broken leg.
2. Attend Burning Can. My motivation for participating in this foolish run may have already become apparent, but if not let's clarify. The Lyons Outdoor Games in addition to the 5K also featured a beer festival, with thirty different brewers from Colorado and beyond showing off their wares. We put our souvenir tasting cup to the test, sampling as many as we could during the four hours available. My favorites were the Eddyline Lager, as refreshing as drinking a summer breeze but somewhat more filling, and the Crazy Mountain Wit, whose bouquet was as aromatic as any beer I have inhaled. The taste buds agreed when their turn came.
3. Create Your Own Film Festival. My friends Rob and Kimmy have two young daughters so we did our chilling over at their crib over two nights. We started with "Snatch," a pleasant British film I had seen before, which is not a pornography believe it or not. After that Kimmy wisely escaped to bed while we watched "Hobo With a Shotgun"which I feel was unfairly ignored by the Razzies. This film was written and directed by a group of twelve year olds who had somehow gotten access to camera equipment and fifty liters of fake blood. Even Rutger Hauer (the title character), who was once in a good movie thirty years ago, could not save this gorefest from becoming a snoozefest. Even I as a fellow hobo was unable to identify with his character.
The next night we checked out Rob and Kimmy's suggestion, "Steve the Pirate and some Jack Black look-alike Face Evil." There was a bit of the blood and guts here as well, but the movie was much more tastefully done and the Jack Black alike was a touching and sympathetic character who gets to bang a chick waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of his league. Always a Hallmark moment for those of us still living in hope.
4. See a Rockies Game. Ben and I spent Sunday afternoon at Coors Field watching as the park earned its reputation as a place pitchers go to die. This scorefest featured sixteen runs in the first four innings before the batters grew bored and started doing some heavy drinking and HGH abuse in the clubhouse (*pure speculation on my part). The Rockies ended up falling 10-8 completing the sweep. A fan making his way out on the adjoining aisle was heard to mutter, "at least we're better than the Cubs." Those are some pretty low expectations my friend.
00000 miles/whatever that plus the number from Thursday equals