Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A Preview of the End: California

Sounds positively like we are entering the anteapocalyptic period, eh? If I'm lucky the geologic catastrophes thought to associated with our inevitable destruction will move California under water and severely shorten my walk. The new Lake Tahoe, now with beach lots. I know this sounds callus, but look at it from my point of view. This country is really large. I thought every state would be the size of Delaware. What could a little trim off the sides hurt? So we would have to miss out on "Transformers 6."
On a serious note (momentum I am unlikely to maintain) the state of California at least has the decency to sport the least amount of ADT mileage of the five I will pass through this summer, a mere 376. Within those miles lies one of the most infamous sites in our nation, Donner Pass. Most people I have talked to ask whether I shall visit the dreaded place, home to the famous party which included some menu items not yet sampled by even Andrew Zimmern (to my knowledge). Those I have talked to have frequently placed the Pass within the Rockies, but the Sierra Nevadas, an almost equally daunting range, is the home of Donner Pass.
I don't want to venture into such a region unprepared. Therefore, I am currently taking applications to join me for this portion of the hike. Applicants should have a little extra junk in the trunk and must smell like bacon when cooked.
Assuming I am able to clear this last obstacle the rest should be easy going. Fortunately, my ability to fail in spectacular fashion even the simplest task will prevent such a mundane finish. Perhaps I'll challenge mayor Kevin Johnson of Sacramento to a game of basketball. Maybe I will swim across the San Francisco Bay to Alcatraz, while reenacting the script from "Escape from Alcatraz" backwards. More likely I will get lost and wander in circles for days, perhaps running into one of those vile marijuana farms I will hurry away from with haste.
As I have subtly alluded to, San Francisco is amongst my destinations. Included is a trip past Fisherman's Wharf shortly followed by one across the Golden Gate Bridge. That should be the finish line right? The ocean is right there. Not so fast. My good friends at the American Discovery Trail decided to place the end forty miles up the coast at Point Reyes National Seashore. I suppose I could just stop at the bay and call it a country crossed, but darn it, I've sort of vaguely occasionally followed this trail at times all the way across our nation. Why quit just before the end?
On that note we will end our preview of part two. Mapping and talking about the walk have been quite a lot of fun, but as a wise man once said, pornography is great but it just ain't the same as sex. In less than one month I will finally get it on.

Thanks to our recent contributors:
Joey Espinosa
Tim McGrath
Mark and Melissa Normington
Michael and Duffy Petty
Tedo Simeonov
Ryan Watkins


macpito said...

I'm thinking now of joining you someplace in California. I could fly to SF and backtrack to where you are at that point. Something like that. Let me know your thoughts, unaskewed!

Love, Dad

rjmera said...

SF was a bit like New York City with a California twist. The Golden Gate is awesome and easy to walk even for a cripple like me.

Anonymous said...

I really hope we get to miss out on Transformers 6, but I guess barring California crumbling into the ocean as you alluded to, it's coming all too soon to a theater near us. See you this weekend bro!