Thursday, February 26, 2009

Drink your Wheaties: Music for the Alcohol Lover

Looks like my boss at the newspaper wants me to cough up a list of my favorite drug songs for next month's addition. Apparently my music knowledge trumps the fact that I don't actually do any drugs. Well, not very often at least.
We'll get to the aforementioned Narcotic LP and I will be glad to solicit your help with that one too, but first I thought I would start with a softer drug (sort of a gateway mix) we are all probably more familiar with, unless you are part of my recovering meth addicts fan club, whose membership is said to be burgeoning. Apparently it takes that kind of self-abuse to understand what the hell I am blathering about most of the time.
Anyway, I will be slapping up a list of some of my favorite drinking songs and I would love any feedback. Remember: there are no dumb answers, just dumb people giving answers. Since you are giving the answer to a dumb person we can just keep it all in the family. Your song can be pro- or anti-drinking, we do all need a reminder from time to time that drinking and driving is kind of stupid. You don't want to wake up next week on a moped, the ultimate DUI scarlet letter, at least in the state of South Carolina.
Thanks in advance for your contributions and if you want to link me up to YouTube so I can hear your phat track, rock it out (comments may be made on any post as this post is currently being a bitch for some reason). I will be adding a bit at a time, so here we go, in no particular order:

1. "Sex and Beer" by Pat McCurdy
A great live version here of a song that brings us the two greatest things in life. Apparently this guy wrote this particular tune and then died, having created perfection. I have a slightly different version, but you can follow the link for a killer live rendition.

2. "Wasted and Ready" by Ben Kweller
Same sort of idea as the previous tune, but with a greater focus on the copulation aspect. "Sex reminds her of eating spaghetti." Just call me a lover of the pasta. Jimmy Buffett gains an honorable mention here for his "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw."

3. "You Drink, You Drive, You Spill" by NOFX
Frankly, this whole list could consist of just Dropkick Murphy and NOFX songs since they do have a bit of an obsession with the booze to go along with impressive music catalogs. NOFX uses the requisite two minute punk song to advise us to be careful when we drink in drive because we could lose some of our precious alcohol. Thanks for lookin out guys! (Note: not a great version here as far as sound quality, but this was all YouTube had)

4. "Slow Descent into Alcoholism" by The New Pornographers
Never have I been happier to creep into the depths of depravity than when listening to the siren's song of Neko Case and Carl Newman, whose duet lovingly carries us into the embrace of the bottle in this sugary sweet pop classic. The video reminds me of my college daze (not a typo). Keg bowling, shotgunning beers, funneling beers - a wave of nostalgia is washing over me like a tsunami of love.

5. "Alcohol" by Gogol Bordello
A succinct title that gets right to the point. These guys combine the gypsy music of their Ukrainian homeland with the punk vibe they discovered growing up in the United States. The combination works, creating a unique and raucous sound. Great success!

6. "Drunken Lullabies" by Flogging Molly
No mix of this sort would be complete without including an Irish influence. Although the Mollies only have one member from the isle, singer Dave King, their music is as authentically Irish as a shillelagh toting leprechaun drunk on whiskey. If you have never seen them live, get off your sorry ass and book a date, they have a stage presence unmatched by their peers and the fun you will have is guaranteed to greatly exceed the monetary output.

7. "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" by The Dropkick Murphys
The Murphys are also a no-brainer for a list of boozing tunes. Boston might as well be located in Ireland, with most of its citizenry having Emerald ancestry and a serious alcohol problem (as anyone who has attended a sporting event in the area can tell you). Since most of their songs deal with this particular genre, all they had to do was write one good ditty. With classic lines like "I've had far better sex while in jail" and "It was tiny" this ditty hit the necessary home run. Other Dropkick songs worthy of a mention here are "Alcohol," "Barroom Heroes," and "The Dirty Glass."

8. "Heavy Fuel" by Dire Straits
"Money for Nothing" and "Sultans of Swing" nonwithstanding, the majority of Dire Straits material is slow and plodding at times, with adjectives like mellow and somber coming immediately to mind. Not so with "Heavy Fuel" a hard rocker from the album On Every Street explaining just how much hard-living the rock and roll life style requires. Money shot: "The last time I was sober, man it felt bad, worst hangover I ever had...."
Ignore the psychotic roadie infiltrating an otherwise perfectly normal video.

9. "Surf Wax America" by Weezer
I include this mainly for nostalgic reasons. We played this album in college until the stereo exploded, refusing to accept our Blue offering even once more. Most of you may know the tracks "Buddy Holly" and "The Sweater Song," but my favorite was always "Surf Wax America" for the singer's blatant disregard for the straight working stiff and for the line that makes the song worthy of inclusion here - "The sea is foaming like a thousand pound keg (or bottle of beer depending on the stanza.

10. "Drink It Up Men" by The Dubliners
My list would be as empty and cold as the Gobi Desert if I failed to include this ode to Guinness by the masters of modern Irish folk music. "Drink it up men, its well after ten" is like a calm to arms for the lover of hops and barley. Forgive the lack of a video, as these gentlemen slightly predate the heyday of MTV.

11. "Two Step" by Dave Matthews Band
Although, not specifically about alcohol, this tune provides the carpe diem mentality necessary for any boisterous bout of bacchanalia. "Celebrate we will, for life is short but sweet for certain" makes me want to take the opportunity to raise a pint today, for I know not what mishaps and misfortune tomorrow may bring.

12. "One Last Drink" by Enter the Haggis
Turn up the sound on this one, the version I link to is very quiet for some reason, but is the only one of the four posted that has anything resembling sound quality.
These Toronto natives of Scottish heritage prove that the kilt-loving, tartan wearers can pound a wee bit of whiskey as well. FYI: if you enjoy this tune and live anywhere near Greenville, South Carolina, they are playing at the Handlebar the last night of April. I have seen them twice and they put on a hell of a show. Their music turns me into a jig-dancing automaton (that is a good thing if you were wondering). Oh, and the fiddle player is smoking hot, although he was a ten with the red hair (dyed it blonde for some unknown reason).

1 comment:

Ms. Red said...

I'll never smoke weed with Willie again. Toby Keith and Willie Nelson