Showing posts with label cuba. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cuba. Show all posts

Monday, October 13, 2008

Impending Evacuation: Part Two

Friday was spent with Robert's family in Raleigh, where we were treated to a traditional Ecuadorian meal of chorizo, steak, chicken, shrimp, and salmon. Not big vegetarians these Ecuadorians. We finished off our feast with shortbread filled with dulce de leche and guava, with a bottle of port to wash down the deliciousness. The next morning the five of us hopped into an Acura built for two (and maybe a midget) and made our way towards the nation's capital.
When I entered Washington DC on a beautiful fall Saturday, I expected to be greeted by a dirty, murder and narcotic-riddled city teeming with congressmen, lobbyists, and other assorted gang members. I had no doubt there would be a crack-house named in honor of former mayor Marion Barry somewhere near Pennsylvania Avenue.
Riding through the Mall area and past the parks astride the Potomac River, I realized how mistaken my preconceptions were. The weather could not have been more beautiful, nor the surroundings more picturesque.
The natives were everywhere, some jogging, others playing volleyball, while still more plied the still waters of the Potomac in kayaks and canoes. The road to my cousin's flat was surrounded by the lush vegetation of Rock Creek Park, an urban jungle composed not of cold steel and concrete, but rather the verdant green of trees and plants. The city contains an impressive amount of parkland, 720 acres of which surround the river's edge.
Everything was not wine and roses, of course. Washington's streets were an intricate maze, with roads running into one another at angles that defy any attempt at reasonable explanation. Driving was, as a result, a tricky proposition at best, and the dense traffic made the task all the more difficult. Once you are ready to put your car to rest, trying to find a parking space in the capital can be harder than finding a politician who won't accept a campaign donation from one of our "rescued" banks.
Thankfully, DC is blessed with an excellent public transportation system and once we arrived at my cousin's place we were able to dump the car in exchange for the relatively stress-free comfort of the metro (subway). Once ensconced in our train, we headed out to RFK stadium, named after JFK's equally assassinated brother, in order to view the forces of good (= USA) do battle with the satanic Cuban side in a soccer match of unmatched historical importance.
A small, but boisterous crowd of 20,000 greeted us as we moved towards our seats, and despite the defection of two Cuban players unafraid of the current American economic crisis, the game went on as scheduled shortly after seven p.m. The damn commies put up a heck of a fight for the first forty-five minutes, pulling into a defensive shell and holding the US side to a 2-1 halftime lead.
Those who view the beautiful game of soccer as a boring affair slightly less interesting than watching their carpet grow would have been shocked at the second half results. The ejection of a Cuban player late in the first half led to the opening of the floodgates. With only ten players on defense the Americans were able to take advantage to the tune of four goals, and the game ended 6-1 in favor of Uncle Sam's bunch (for a more professional look at the results, check out my friend and soccer expert Robert's analysis).
The victory ensured the United States advancement into the final round of World Cup qualifying. My need to celebrate such a momentous occasion was insatiable. Since I was suffering from the dreadful sting of poverty at the time, as was my brother (a perhaps as yet unmentioned traveling companion), we chose to eschew the usual bars and nightclubs in favor of the excitement that runs throughout the length and breadth of the downtown Washington neighborhoods.
In other words, we chose to defile ourselves in the semi-privacy of the stoop in front of my cousin's flat. DC is chock full of areas where the houses have been turned into apartments and rented out to the younger denizens of the city, who are otherwise unable to afford the astronomical housing prices prevalent in the District.
We grabbed some beers and a grill and proceeded to find our inner girl scout by roasting smores and draining some Coors (or possibl another beer that does not taste like old socks). We sat, chatted, and watched groups of young people go by on their way to the bar district only a few blocks away. Those returning a little later on were infinitely more entertaining courtesy of their awkward stumblings, feeble fumblings, and incoherent grumblings.
As the night faded and my time in Washington came to an end, thoughts of a return danced on the outer edge of my vision. There was no chance during my short visit to get lost in the labyrinth of the city's eighteen Smithsonian and Smithsonian-affiliated museums. If I took five minutes to look at each individual exhibit, I will likely have seen them all by the year 3405.
I also have plans to visit the reflecting pond in front of the Lincoln Memorial and challenge Michael Phelps to a 400 meter freestyle race there. Finally, a third national political party needs to be created in order to bring back democracy to America and to destroy the current kleptocracy. Sounds like I will be busy on my next trip!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Impending Evacuation


The bailout/rescue or whatever you want to call the thing has been signed into law, but the economy continues to fail without the commanding presence of Richard Pryor (see prior post). The stock market has crumbled to beneath ten thousand for the first time in years. Bank stocks continue to tumble like meteors from the heavens, threatening to turn mankind into the newest version of the dinosaurs. To avert the seemingly inevitable apocalypse, I have decided to head to DC and remove the politician's heads from the asses within which they have been deeply entrenched for way too long.
Sadly, a miracle worker I am not, although my keen senses have at times been compared to those of Helen Keller. In actuality I am visiting the town that made corruption famous in order to witness the American national soccer team do battle with the evil forces of Communism represented by Fidel Castro's Cuban side. In years past we could expect to win by forfeit, as half of the Cuban team could be counted on to defect before the game, leaving the opponent without enough players to compete. This year the potential defectors will, in all likelihood, hear about the state of our nation and decide that living in poverty in a Caribbean island isn't really that bad after all.
Seems as if we may actually play the game - and in order to understand the intricacies of international soccer, I am bringing along Latin American and MLS futbol expert and friend of the blog Robert Mera in order to grasp fully the implications of such an earth-shattering match. Robert will also be celebrating his 30th birthday this weekend, which means I have to obtain accurate information from him before then as Bob Dylan says not to trust anyone past the age of thirty. Upon further review, though, I have aged gracefully past thirty myself and should be trusted. Ponder the question; when have I ever led you astray?
While in the city of DC (stands for District of Corruption) we will be staying with my beautiful and brilliant cousin Jennifer (that is sick dude, don't even think that) and her wonderful fiancee, Adam. My coz is adding to the diversity that my family was dreadfully lacking upon my birth. In 1975 we were just a ho-hum group of crackers, mostly Anglo-Saxon Protestants. Things have changed significantly since that fateful year. Added to my delightful, sprightly gayness has come my father's marriage to a lovely Turkish lass named Nalan. Jennifer has jumped into the mix with her coming betrothal, at which time she will be converting to Judaism, the religion of her future husband. Now, I will have an inside track in order to uncover the worldwide conspiracies which the Zionists are clearly behind.
Maybe instead my family's newly found diversity can be used to bring the world together. Heck we even have a black sheep/conservative in my Uncle David to make sure that all sides are represented in these negotiations. Our next family reunion has the potential to be more earth-shattering than the Camp David Accords. Or we may turn into the Palestine family and start throwing rocks and tanks at one another. Either way, good times will be had by all.