Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Categorical Denial

I'm sick of categories.  People can not be stuffed and sorted into little boxes and explained so easily.  We are nuanced creatures and as such should escape these designations.  For its need to separate us into groups science fails us here, as does the natural human instinct to make snap judgments about the people we meet.  Yes, I'm gay but that does not begin to define me as a person.  Every male I meet is not a potential sex partner.  I am picky and don't consider most to be attractive.  Even when I am smitten once I know a man is straight that door closes and I respect boundaries.  There are many other facets of my life and as far as the social aspect, time spent playing sports, having an intelligent conversation, or quietly sharing a beer is just as important.  Sadly, since I came out I find myself with more new female friends than male because of sexual tension that should not even exist.
 These are my frustrations and I am sure you have yours.  Our tendency to group the world into gender, race, sexual orientation, and other categories narrows our vision and blinds us to what we truly are: a bunch of individuals each shaped by unique experiences.  I know I have fallen into these traps myself many times.  Every day from now on I want to strive to improve my ability to understand and empathize with friends and co-workers.  I want to challenge convention, not be trapped by the sort of thinking that attempts to simplify what is complex.  I hope you will to.